ceremony procession
Hi everyone,
My FI and I are different religions (he's Catholic and I am Jewish) and we decided to not include religion in the ceremony because it was causing too many family problems. We are having a justice of the peace marry us and are not including any relgious readings or customs in our wedding because I am trying to keep it "fair". However, I am starting to stress out about what we are going to do about the procession and which sides our attendants stand on because the tradition is different with the two religions. For Jews, the bride side is on the right and it's the reverse for the Catholic side.
I know it sounds like a small thing and that it is my wedding and I should just pick one but my parents are dead set on hosting the wedding ceremony and reception, however it has lead to so many deatil fights. My mother is the one who is giving me the most stress about this and not being able to compromise at all. Anyway, I was curious if anyone had any ideas on how they blended the Jewish and Catholic procession. I wanted to have a really good solution in mind that would take into account both styles and then lay it on everyone.
I feel like I am dealing with grammar school kids fighting over a ball, I swear :)
posted by Sarah @ 10:01 AM
5 Comments:
Sarah,
I'm so sorry that you are having such a problem. I would mix the guests up so that there isn't a bride's side of the aisle or a groom's side for guests to sit at. However, you are going to have to just choose a side and stand there. Do what makes you feel comfortable. I know you liked the idea of a choppa, but didn't want to have one because of all of this. Well, my thought is have the choppa to honor your Jewish tradition and stand on the right to honor your husband's Catholic tradition.
Thanks for the suggestions. Kelli, that is a great idea to have a chuppah but have the processional in Christian style. I really wanted a chuppah :)
Jennifer, I originally offered to have my FI pay for half but my parents took offence to that like I didn't want them involved and I was taking away their role. I don't know where they come up with these ideas sometime. I have always had a rocky relationship with my mom and she will get all upset about something and then deny it all later. Classic split personality Gemini (sorry if I offended any Geminis)
Jennifer,it sounds like your family isn't so worried about the religious differences, which is good.
Sarah,
It's your wedding. If having the chuppah makes you happy then do it. As hard as it is to think about when you're planning the wedding, all of these little details will be forgotten over time. You'll fight about it now, but that will pass. What sticks with you are your regrets. While I am a firm believer that weddings are not just about the bride and groom, there are certain things that should be your decision like the chuppah or where you stand. Your wedding day is the first day of the rest of your lives. Remember who your leaving with that day, not your parents, but your husband.
Just catching up... Sarah- it's super tough when you are the ball the kids are fighting over! I didn't see it anywhere, but does Mike's mom/family care? If they don't care, maybe you could just stand on the right and make your mom happy? I really liked the idea of having the chuppah but then processing/standing in the Christian order.
It's so hard to blend religions... thankfully holidays for the two don't exactly conflict with each other. That should help some when/if you have kids!
Thanks for the feedback everyone.
to answer your question Cara, Mike's parents are saying that they just want it to be "fair'. However Mike's brother (the one in the family who always gives me the real scoop) told me hat his dad is anxious that he is going to have to wear a "beenie" on his head and that he will refuse if asked because it is against his religion, or whatever that means. So, they are not putting pressure on me the way my mom is but they are uncomfortable about the issue. However i told Mike's brother to mention, if they ever start complaining about the religious differences, that they will always have their son home for Christmas. They never have to worry that we will be with my parents for that holiday. In fact, I am really excited to finally get to celebrate Christmas because usually I am the only person left in the office filling in for everyone else who takes off. Then i go to the movies and get Chinese food. not very festive:(
So I am thrilled to get to celebrate it with his family every year. I'm still Jewish but the way i see it is that we can have the best of both worlds.
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