Need a pick-me-up
I really do not want to put a damper on anyones day. So Jay and I have held off on planning for our ceremony for awhile. We start school next week and things have been super busy. His dad calls us and updates us on his legal status in Canada. He has a criminal record (not major but not minor either) and because of that, a judge might not pardon him. This basically means that he can't leave the country. We won't know for sure till next May/June. The date we set was October. It's kind of a downer. Now we are seriously considering not having it at all. I'm sort of ok with it but you know I am still bummed. Jay feels bad because I really had my heart set on having my dream wedding. But we can't just go on with the plans without his dad because he is a big part of our lives. I mean if it was an aunt or cousin, that's fine, but this is his dad. So we will see what happens.
But what I wanted to ask was if there are any cheap (reasonably priced)/interesting ideas for a date this Saturday? Me and Jay need a serious pick-us-up because we have been really down lately. It will basically be our last date before the school semester starts and we will go back to seeing each other twice a week.. haha.. sad but true.
All and any suggestions are more than welcome! Thanks ladies!
posted by Anonymous @ 2:26 PM
9 Comments:
Sok,
I feel for you and I understand. Not to take away from your story, but I think I have also decided to postpone my wedding, but not for the same reasons. I've only been in MA for less than 6 months, and I'm still adjusting. I hate my current job, and want to look for something else, I'm still adjusting to the new lifestyle, trying to pay off some debt..etc. I just can't handle all that, and planning a wedding for our entire family next fall. It just won't work. We've been constantly fighting, I cry almost every night, and it's just not worth it. I want to talk to my fiance tonight and suggest a longer engagement. (2008-2009) but I'm really afraid I'm going to hurt his feelings. But I just can't handle it, and don't want to call the entire thing off in frustration. I just need more time. Sorry, didn't mean to steal the discussion, or to put a bigger damper on everyone's day.
Sok, I hope it all works out the way you want it to. I'm sure it will, for both of us, eventually.
Sorry Sok, forgot to answer your question. Are you wanting to get away for the weekend or just a night date? I'd suggest splurging on a fancy dinner in Boston. Dress up, go fancy, get the shrimp cocktail and a nice bottle of champagne and toast to YOU, not the wedding, not to anything else. Make it all about the two of you. That would be my suggestion.
Very sorry to hear about your issues, Sok & Tammy! To Sok, just keep remembering that you can still have your dream wedding. It's been kind of a rocky road to get to it, but there's no reason you can't have it. Sounds like your whole wedding process has been non-traditional, so this is just one more step in that process... one day when you tell your kids (assuming you're having them) about how mommy and daddy had a wedding, you can look back on all this and it will be funny. Best part for you is you've already got the husband! All these delays are just for a party- your marriage is already in full swing. Amen for that!
For dates, here are a few of my favorite things to do:
-Tapas at Tasca (Comm Ave, Brighton) or Tapeo (Newbury). If it's nice, and you can sit on the patio at Tapeo and just linger over little dishes and sangria- fantastic!
-Dinner at Bricco in the North End (call for a reservation... Tim & I will get one of every course and share (one appetizer, soup, salad, main dish). We're completely full by the end and got to taste a lot of different things)www.bricco.com
-I LOVE the Improv Asylum, especially if you're feeling down. It's always a great laugh. You could do dinner in the NE and catch the late act. Buy your tickets in advance though.
-If you want somewhere more romantic, try Torch on Charles Street (basically on the edge of the Garden). www.bostontorch.com
-If I'm eating down in the area, I love going to the bar at the Ritz Carlton (the old one, on Arlington Street). It makes me feel special, but honestly, it's not really more expensive than other nicer bars ($8-10 glass of wine).
-I also love going for a drink and dessert at the Top of the Hub. It's so gorgeous up there, they have live jazz, and same with the Ritz bar, it's not more expensive than other bars.
I'll see if I think of more!
Tammy- hang in there girl! You've got a lot on your plate right now, being in a new place, trying to plan a wedding, etc. Take some deep breaths and take the weekend off. Just relax and think about anything but planning a wedding. Then reevaluate if you want to postpone. I'm sure your fiance will understand- you've been together this long, why not a little longer? If you need any more help, we're here!!
Thanks Cara, that is good advice. I am at the end of my rope. I spent the entire evening last night crying while chatting online with my sister. She was semi-helpful, but just doesn't really understand the insanity of a wedding. I wish I could avoid it all this weekend, but we have an appointment on Sat to see a venue, I don't even know why we're still going, we can't afford it anyway. Also dinner with his mother on Saturday night and she's already "found us a photographer". I don't want to disappoint anyone, but I also know I can't handle a wedding now, or next year. I will try to relax and not talk about it this weekend as much as possible.
Cara- Thanks for the suggestions. I think we are going to try Torch. I have only heard good things about it.
You are right. I have my husband and right now, that is all that matters. I think we have come to terms that our dream wedding isn't going to happen for awhile and we are ok with it.
Tammy- Yes you do need a break! Moving to a new city is hard and if you don't like you're job, it just adds to the stress! Remember to breathe- and maybe you and your man need a date too!!
Thank you for all the encouraging words! I really do appreciate them!
Thanks Sok. Have a fabulous time w/your hubby. I'm so happy for you. Let us know how Torch is. I haven't been to a lot of places in the city yet, and love to get reviews!
I think we are going Saturday night. I have babysitting duties on Saturday because my parents are going to a wedding. But maybe I can get my brother to watch my sister. I mentioned it to hubby earlier at lunch and he likes the idea of a date night.
Cara- kids.. yes one day. I have too many around me lol. I have 3 neices and 1 nephew and they are too much! I love them to death and I love being an auntie but it's a different ball game when you're a mom. =)
Thanks everyone!
Oh Sok and Tammy. I'm so sorry to hear about all of your stress. Sok, there's nothing you can do about your father-in-law. Is there a way you could have the wedding in Canada? I'm thinking the exchange rate works in your favor.
Tammy, I can totally relate to the lousy job. I hate mine since I got a new boss in March. Because I'm not willing to uproot my life and move to Illinois, I'm losing my job before the end of the year. I should be stressed beyond belief, especially with the money we're shelling out right now on the wedding and honeymoon, but I'm not. My attitude is, I'm getting married, and I'll get another job. (after the wedding ;-)
Just try to keep things in perspective, and I know how hard that is, because every so often, I go off the deep end. My little bit of advice for what it's worth... Schedule a date night once a week, just the two of you. For Bob and I, it's Friday night. We just go to dinner and a movie, or dinner and come home and watch HGTV. Even when I was in law school, and not dating, my roommate and I used to not do anything school related on Friday night. We'd go get pizza, rent a movie, go to a club, etc. We didn't even talk about law school.
Also, accept help when it's offered. I'm the type who will always just do it herself and stress over it. Well that has stopped, and it's been a life saver. My sister came over last Saturday and we got a bunch of stuff done. My mom's coming on Sunday to do more. Don't try to do everything alone. Get your fiance involved. I was bitching to my mom about a month ago about everything left to do and my mom asked me what does Bob think, and I told her "he has no idea what needs to get done." That's when my mom pointed out the problem...He can't help if he doesn't know. I clued him in, gave him a job or two, and it's really taken the pressure off. Two hands are better than one!
Tammy, something to think about before you cancel your wedding next year. It's not 10 months of stress all of the time. We had stress at the beginning, especially when we were looking for a venue, but once we got everything nailed down over about 6 weeks, it all went eerily quiet for about 5 to 6 months, until I started to think about the invitations. We did NOTHING wedding related for at least 4 months. Now with 6 weeks to go, we're back to a little stress because of all the last minute details, but that's it.
After my wedding's over, I'm willing to lend a hand ;-) Let your new friends know how we can help.
Chin up, Girls!
Thanks Kelli! It is definately possible to have the wedding in Canada but I haven't given much thought to it. Right now all I am worried about is getting through school. It's ok though because my cousin's fiance is planning her wedding and I will still be able to help plan..just not mine. We're ok with it! I am sorry to hear about your job though. But you are right, you can always get another job after you are married. Your words are really encouragin! Thank you!
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